Ed’s Voice Trying for the Reigns

Work on Friday was beyond trying. So much so that Ed’s Voice came back strong and clear.

Can you relapse while in a relapse?

Ed’s Voice is fighting for the reigns again.

I am so angry and not at myself [for once!] and this is where the struggle for the reigns is.

Ed is trying; whispering to restrict. Ed won on Friday. But the anger was so strong and since I could not destroy or act on my emotions I binged. Hard. Ok it was probably normal eating for the rest of society but for anorexics—ooooo wee!

I wanted to vomit so much that I kept eating and hoping that I would eat till I literally puked. I was really close last night.

Therapy today. I thought it would help with dealing with Ed’s Voice.

It was a lot of me trying not to cry and feel hopeless in a situation that makes my therapist angry. At least that was validating. She is such a huge help.

So back to the battle for control with Ed’s Voice.

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