I pretty much despise those of you who have support.
I sit here, sinus infection, feeling so bad, struggling. My parents yell at me I need to get another job, work more, etc. that I’m lazy and there’s no real reason I should be sick. That I shouldn’t volunteer and dance because I’m wasting my time on that and not working.
Work kills me. Dance and volunteering help me feel a little piece of joy.
I’m too sick to deal with this bullshit. I can easily understand why people with mental illness snap and kill others. If people were constantly berating them and telling them they deserve nothing, what should they do?
I see their two options: kill themselves or hurt others.
I could never hurt others. So myself would be my option. Oh wait. Already do that. It’s called anorexia. Ed, take over. I ain’t got time for this shit.