Dance Team Auditions

Tomorrow night, I am auditioning for another dance team. My current studio has different teams based on genres. So far I am on the burlesque one. I was dancing with contemporary but it seems that they will have an official team.

I’m freaking out. I want this one so bad. It is totally my style of expression. But when I talked with the studio director, I [possible Ed’s voice] heard that I’m in the intermediate and the team will be advanced. And we have to freestyle at tryouts. I don’t freestyle. Ever. I just panic.

So I feel like I’m not going to make the team. The team leader invited me to tryouts. The team leader and director do keep commenting on how I learn routines really quickly [awesome to have in dance]. Like literally I missed ~3 months because of the illness and I learned 1minute 20seconds of a dance in about 35 minutes. And retained it the following week where we tweaked it and added more on. They both commented how I learn fast and were blown away by this.

I really hope that, who I am, and my performance ability gets me on. That they realize I learn quick, am improving quicker, and want this.

Because then I would have gotten something for the first time in years and all because I worked for it and deserve it.

So now to wait and freak out.

Tomorrow night. It goes down.

My boyfriend is strongly encouraging me to try out. I was going to then chickened out then he convinced me to do it.

I might not be able to do all floor work. And being fat while the rest can wear any costume keeps popping up in my head.

Fuck. All against me.

I just want to compete. Another purpose. Something to make people proud of me.

I feel like such a failure. I mean, I fail at anorexia right now [but win at life…saw that somewhere on Pinterest].

Just one for Cassie? I mean 2015 is turning out to be my year, can it please continue?? PLEASE?!


2 thoughts on “Dance Team Auditions

  1. I don’t dance, but I run and compete frequently. What works for me is trying to focus on what my body can do, rather than what it looks like. What’s the worse that can happen? I don’t do as well as I had hoped. If that happens, I mourn the situation, and then try again next time. Taking the pressure off really helps. Good luck to you, and try your best to not get down on yourself. You’re not a failure.


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