when I should be blogging. When I should be showing and demonstrating how powerful and horrible Ed’s voice can be.
Allowing Ed’s voice to rule the blog entry–flowing through my fingers and typing the message out into the blogosphere to my few followers.
Yet I cannot do it.
I am too self conscious.
I am too agitated.
Ed’s voice is too strong.
I feel too worthless. Too fat. Too in need of scratching that itch at the back of my throat and on the inside of my left wrist [both things I’ve never done]. Too out of control. Too in need of being in control…of something. Too agitated that I don’t absolutely despise candy and soda anymore like as in am repulsed by it. Too disappointed and undeserving of my amazing boyfriend, PC.
All this makes it that much more difficult to get an entry out.