Why Me? But Seriously?!

no seriously though!

Because it isn’t enough that I struggle with anorexia…. And do so as an overweight anorexic.., 

I have always been a kind and caring person. Someone who is self sacrificing and has sacrificed my boundaries for others. I work my ass off. Always have. Why? Because I believed that I would get what I deserved it in the end.

If I knew what I got and where I was today 5 years ago, fuck. That. I should have done drugs. I should have partied. I should not have sacrificed my happiness, no vacations, no school debt, excellent grades. Having two associates, two bachelors, and hella licenses and certifications got me shit. Literally.

I’m being bullied and harassed at work. It has gotten worse. My manager is threatening me. I’ve never been late in 6 years. Barely any sick days. Barely any requested time off. The best and ideal employee. Never complains, always going above and beyond. Yet no compensations. Harassed by my peers and my manager. Threatened. Why?! Fucking WHY?!? And all I can do is take it. 

I have watched everyone around me leave their semi toxic and toxic jobs for these amazing dream jobs of theirs. They are so happy and content. They are all getting what they want. I am happy for them, I truly am.

Now where the fuck is mine? 

It is an agreed upon consensus I have it worse. Ok. So what the fuck?!??! Why me?! Why do I keep getting it out on me. Having other people’s pleasures rubbed in my face?! 

I’m barely holding on. I can’t do this anymore. Seeing horrible cruel people promoted. What’s the point of being good or living in a world where you work your ass off and are good if all you get in return is shat on and the worst treatment? And when you look for validation or support people tell you to get over it?

Fyi, you were in similar shoes not that long ago how quickly you forget. 

Why. Me. 

What did I do to deserve all this?! Because anorexia isn’t enough?!

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One thought on “Why Me? But Seriously?!

  1. We have similar work environments, I think. I know how much you put into your work and it’s so frustrating to see the assholes get promoted and celebrated while the hard working decent people get shat upon. 😦

    Hugs from me. Xx

    Liked by 1 person

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