Womanhood vs Ed

I have been beyond stressed lately as those who follow know.

Well I have felt like I have been bingeing for a few days now. And out of control. Like one of the meds I am on is off label use for BED so SHOULDN’T that work that way for me?! The doctors kept telling me how I would lose weight on this medication. So why am I so fat right now and bingeing?!?!

Like absurdly weird feeling. It’s upsetting. I want to eat. Not happy about this. At all. 

Feeling extraordinarily fat and bloated. Stepped on the scale immediately following a shower today. 


I have been agitated all day ever since.

Then while at work I realized what day it is. And it dawned on me. Aw hell. I’m getting my period.

I hate how I always miss the clues: gassy, bloated, excessive weight gain, bingeing sensations, bingeing conceptions and perceptions, extreme agitation, salt and sweet cravings. Damnit.

The worst part is I really can’t control Ed’s voice during this time.

I’m sitting in my bed. I know I’ve gained bloated weight because of my period. But yet I keep grabbing and pinching my thighs feeling and assessing my fat. It’s so weird: still significantly less than before.

Maybe time to really get to exercise purging because that will get rid of it all.

Sigh yes I’ll bring it up along with all the stress of my job and that drama with Cherry.

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