Surprised

At how calm I am.

At how I didn’t freak out too much regarding food even though I feel like I’m bingeing a lot lately.

With my boyfriend. PC just continues to amaze me in good ways. I am a lucky lady!

With Cindy’s response to PC via text today: she genuinely likes him now! Before she didn’t like him or take him seriously thinking he was one of my flowers I flit to or he was a typical male of this area. But I guess he has proven himself so far! 

At how I am holding it together waiting to hear regarding this potential job and interview thing. [application closed Monday so review of apps is ongoing]. Really thought I would have had like 15 breakdowns by now.

At how I did not get derailed after Friday night’s issue with a male friend and end it with PC–but glad I did not and glad I talked to him about it!

At how excited I am for PC and I to celebrate 3 months together tomorrow and our first mini vacation together this weekend! ❤ I thought I’d be more scared. He is the first real relationship to last this long in years. Dating 4 months, anniversary 3. HUGE for me! I didn’t sabotage!

At how my preplanned activities [the previous blog] are actually helping guide me in distraction during this stressful time.

At how my parents are finally slowly coming on board the Cassie train with at least one Cassie problem–ok it’s not the anorexia but at least it’s something!!

With myself that I am PMSing and my restriction isn’t nearly as bad as it usually is at this time.

That I am actually getting my first pedicure EVER today!! This time last year I got my first manicure. I am afraid of the latex due to my allergy but I have some gloves. And this is the trial run before my big birthday one in June!! 

At how afraid and fearful I am to workout and run. Still so scared of relapsing with that. Ugh.

At how next week is my last week of group like ever! I finished that commitment! That was slow and fast. 

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