Left Field

That is where this came from. Left field.

Thanks to my positional vertigo, I haven’t had much time to wallow in the misery that is my life. It hasn’t afforded me that chance.  Specifically, it hasn’t allowed me to get really depressed over the loss of the nursing job prospect and being screwed yet again by this institution and being stuck in my toxic wasteland. I’ve been too busy fighting the nausea, headaches, and dizziness. Oh and apparently picking a huge fight with PC which thankfully he realizes I’m just stressed out of my mind….literally…. And I’m combusting.

So when I received a phone call today askIng me to interview for a nursing position, I basically peed my pants.

Back it up.

My mom is a nurse. Our relationship is well huh. Hmm. Anyways I was surprised to hear her admit last night that she is concerned about my food intake especially my protein to which I replied oh now you are. I’ve been in treatment for two years now.

She originally refused to help me get a nursing job. I was stubborn wanting no ones help because I want to owe her nothing. But as the economy sucks and the state of nursing sucks even more for nurses in this state, after 2 years of multiple promises of jobs with no contractual follow through, I turned to her for help and she refused. Enter anorexia.

Well now she has decided to help. She saw a colleague of hers who works in a different department and I guess was venting about how she was upset how the institution keeps screwing me. Side note, they have yet to tell me my program is cancelled but my mom who inquired using sob story and connections found out it is. The lady was really pissed off and asked for my resume after hearing of my accolades, achievements, and credentials [trust me when I say my resume would make you vomit]. She wanted to talk to the clinic’s nurse manager about taking me on and training me. 

Well my mom told me about this and I’m appreciative of her efforts. I did not think much of it because it’s still within my institution and it all sounds amazing but nothing ever seems to come of it. 

But today was different. Today I got the call. The call for an interview. And a “please apply for the position as well” so it can be official. They know my status. It is a procedure clinic and they want to train me. They are looking forward to meeting me! 

I haven’t felt like a real human being in the interview process in well never!!! I have always been treated like a worthless being. That is nursing and its state right now because they can. Minimal new grad jobs and hundreds of thousands of applicants. They can be so picky: I’ve been told I’m too fat, too blonde, too pretty. I actually dyed my hair brown because I was tired of the blonde remarks. Is this legal? Hell no. Can they get away with it? Yup they have options. 

See where my anorexia and the fuel for Ed’s voice came from? People are so cruel. 

All it takes is one person believing in me. That’s it. 

This interview means the world to me. It has quadrupled my confidence already. I’m still skeptical because it’s too good to be true. I’m a realist. I’ve been hurt too much and can’t afford devastating heartbreak again.

PC said he was carrying the excitement on this one. It is out of left field so why can’t we act as such?

Fingers crossed. Juju going!!! The interview is later this week!!!!!

Shoutout to Grainne xOxOx  


2 thoughts on “Left Field

  1. Ahhhhhh!!!! Omgomgomg YES! I’m like you. I keep my excitement to a minimum when I don’t have the guarantees but I’m going to be over here generating a huge amount on this one for you. Sometimes some of the best things do come out of left field. This one is yours, my friend. You’ve earned it the hard way. (Hugs!!)

    We have a similar situation here with our nurses and it’s often generated from within. The great thing is that it’s often departmental and a switch to somewhere else is like working on a whole different planet. (Soooo looking forward to this for you).

    Much love. Xox

    Liked by 1 person

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