Mish Mosh Tweedle Lee Dee

I really dont know whats going on.

im seriously on a drug trip–high mother fluffers!!! like dopamax status!!

but i dont get it. i havent changed medication doses. im not abusing my meds because i never could do that!! ativan mmmm maaaaybe. but thats it!!!

but tonight im feeling hypo. and flying. and i love it. ive done nothing different and yet it feels like when i was firsf adjusting my meds witb topamax. yeeee!!

this stuff used to freak me out. now i enjoy it because its rhe only high i can get.

but i think PC hates it.

I told him about it. it scared me at first. but when i started walking i felt like i was fliding and swimming on land. it was magical. the magic i needed after such shitty moments. well deserved. i was all smiles.

but then i opened up. too much. i got nervous and felt like he judged me when i said i was ok feeling stoned and didnt need to go to the hospital. calm down bro. so i kept talking. and about my meds. *head slap*

i think he is really upset with me and not saying anything. maybe this is the feared end. maybe no 5 months on tuesday.

we havent had sex in over 2 weeks. since i got back from vegas. uhhh im dying. i need it several times a day.

last week was excused—he was legitimately sick. plus we nearly did.

but tonight?! not even a move!!!! barely a kiss!!!! can the dumping sign be any clearer?!?!?!

fuuuuuuuuuuuuckk

i brought it up and he says its past his bedtime and he is tired.

IT IS SEX.

WHAT MAN TURNS DOWN SEX UM EVER?!?!?!?!?

thats how i know.

tweedle lee deedle lee. meep mop moop.

ill ride this high while it lasts. go to sleep with a smile on my face. never know when this will happen again!!

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2 thoughts on “Mish Mosh Tweedle Lee Dee

  1. I thinking PC just didn’t want to “take advantage” of you when you were having such s reaction to meds. He sound like the kind of guy who wouldn’t sleep with you of you were drunk … Same difference really. Mind you, he might have been worried. Blow it off as a weird reaction to meds on a super stressful work day if you’re worried. Xx

    Liked by 1 person

  2. You’re the best you know that? It came up tonight in a discussion because I really thought it was over. He was really sleepy and it was past his bedtime so he fell asleep. He was trying to be supportive and thought offering sex after knowing I had a bad day wasn’t nice. We haven’t discussed the drug thing yet. I was concerned he friend zoned me. I only see him twice a week IF that so its hard because yes we are friends, best friends, partners, and lovers. But I feel like we get the whole friends thing in every other day since we rarely see each other so lovers when we barely see each other. But he wants friends then too. I guess different pages? It’s fucking rough. His damn job works him hard and mine being on weekends ruins it all, I get frustrated.

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