Today was so horrid.
I cried so much. When I wasn’t crying I was weepy. Seeing Erin for Happy Hour distracted me but still was not enough.
That meeting went horribly wrong.
In a nutshell: my boss he is trying to work me out of my job basically because he has some personal vendetta. And the charge nurses I work with? All passive aggressive and lied to him. Stating work was easy we did nothing. That I was on my phone the whole weekend. Lie. My phone is in my backpack until break.
I feel harassed. Bullied. Betrayed. This place officially killed my soul.
And I have to go back to work in 2 days.
And a follow up meeting in a week for who knows what purpose.
I called HR tonight.
No one fucks with MY reputation. My type A and OCD will not take that shit. And if people think they can bring me down, they don’t realize I’m not going down alone.
My soul and spirit is dead. Jews don’t believe in hell. But Cassie is going to make sure those who tried to fuck me get what they deserve in the end–justice will prevail.
Back to crying some more. I hate my work life. I’m so stuck. My therapists are so angry because we have been in survival mode for months now with no end in sight.
And tonight, it actually rained in California [shocker real water yay!!!]. It almost feels like G-d is crying with me. Rain, thunder and lightning. That is how bad this is… no rain for months and we finally get some. The day I cry and do a coaching call because I do not know what to do. Cali is crying with me.
Thank you Cali.
Please G-d may this be a sign from you; one that you are working on my miracle that I need. That you acknowledge today was more that it should have been. That in the next week or so sonething is coming to fruition for me.
After today, I coukd see why unbalanced people would shootup their workplaces–if their bosses told them they are liars and made them out to be worthless and unvalued calling them liars and saying that the 7 years of dedication they sacrificed and put in means nothing … not that it is EVER right… I could see how these things happen.
What does this all mean. What does it all mean.