Good Always Loses

Today was off to such a great start. An AMAZING start.

I was able to register for my race! In literally 8 minutes! It was fabulous! Smooooth sailing! PC had it rough! But not this lady!

I went back to sleep until my massage. Trying to remain calm and collected; relishing on the amazing experience of yesterday’s volunteer memories.

I went to my massage. I had all my pains, knots, and problems worked out. I can feel the sessions getting quicker because even with the stress the problem areas are being worked out. Consistency is key.

I come home and settle into my corner of the couch. I prepare to clean out my email and my magazines.

I had sent an email to my manager per my HR advisor’s suggestion yesterday just to inquire as to why we are meeting tomorrow. I seriously have no clue. I felt like the HR person did not take me seriously, again, when I said my boss makes me uncomfortable, is retaliating against me, and is working me out of my job. Guess all he can do is document until he has substantial proof.

As I am a happy relaxed Cassie in my couch corner, my boss actually responded to one of my emails. First time ever. What did he say? Oh are you ready for this one? Because I sure as fuck wasn’t.

To discuss the results of the investigation.

Investigation?!??!?! I was being investigated?!? Did you know they are supposed to legally tell you that is happening? And he never did? I told HR I suspected it but it was never stated.

I lost my shit.

Can’t. Fucking. Win.

Ladies and gentlemen: definitive proof that good guys will always finish last. Right here.

Falsifying evidence and manipulating it so he can penalize me. After a very lengthy time frame in this department with a very sparkling work record: no tardies, warnings, significant errors; he has the audacity to manipulate the evidence to make it so.

And the nurses I work with? Oh slandering me. Either out of fear of him or to just protect themselves. Herd mentality. Never done anything wrong to them but they don’t give a fuuuuuck as long as they are ok.

People don’t realize it’s only time until they are next.

It’s so hard. What have I done? What have I done so wrong to deserve anorexia and being bullied and harassed at work?

I am a kind, caring, compassionate person who has only given and given of herself.

Why can I not catch a fucking break? Why can’t I have the man, the job, the dream, the freedom from health issues? Why is that so hard to ask for? Why do I have to give up everything to have just one?

So I find myself pushing PC away because he deserves better. The world feels I deserves shit and to be bullied. He doesn’t deserve to be dragged through this.

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