Everything is sensual right now.
I just want to be touched.
I want to touch.
Everything just is aaaamazing.
I feel. So. mmmmm. good. yesssss. Good.
I’m dancing in my room.
I am high as a forkin cloud.
I have escaped!
I can’t hear Ed’s voice that is for sure!!
Sure I am still sick and have been puking all day and still have nausea.
But I have a confession.
I knew what I was doing.
I also know its only time till I throw up again.
I see why Topamax is called Dopamax… it is like dope supposedly.
I feel hypersexual. I want to dance and talk nonstop. I want to be sensually touched. I feel so amazing. I want to tell everyone I love I love them.
GRAINNE I LOVE YOU ❤ COME DANCE WITH ME!!!
I have my EDM going. I dance and am touching all the soft stuff. I keep getting intereupted writing this because well shit how can I not?
PC wants nothing to do with me. Go to bed he says. He hates people who are on or do drugs. He thinks it is a side effect of my prescribed drugs. It actually is.
He just has no idea that tonight this was intentional.
That is my secret confession.
I know what I am doing. I also know what I need.
I am in control.
No calories on this one.
Someday I want to try other drugs in moderation.
Right now I want to hear his sexy voice, silky in my ear.
I am scared I might turn to other men otherwise.
Maybe Ed is still here.
Let me just go back and enjoy this dance party. Enjoy the feel of my hands touching my neck.
This is my confession.