I am sitting here in the ENT doctor’s office for my dad’s appointment. ENT is for Ears, Nose, Throat. Today is clearly the throat day. It is why we are here for my dad.
All around me are people with tracheostomies; tubes in their throats to help them breathe. People have difficulty talking or are missing half their jaws.
Raspy voices, strained whispers, scared looks, and facing death looks sit around me.
I know these people have cancers. This is the nature of where we are. Hell I DO the surgeries on these people!!
I feel empathy. I want to reach out and erase their pain.
But sitting here, reading up and checking on my fellow bloggers and hearing how some are slipping with their purging. And looking up as another person enters the waiting area with a trach. It all clicks.
The extensive damage that induced vomiting can cause from purging behaviors is not limited to teeth damage. It can cause throat cancer. It can rip your throat up bad enough you have to have a trach and a peg tube for life!
This scares me. I do not even purge with vomiting but exercise and I am still having panic attacks.
Probably did not help that a woman in her 30s just rolled by in a wheelchair, with chemo hair, trach in, glazed eyes, and the eating disorder symbol tattooed on her wrist.
Because that just scared me straight.
I want out of here. Now.