There have been some ongoing events lately that should be joyous.
I had been looking forward to sharing them with yall.
Unfortunately, the bullying and harassment at work by my boss, underboss, and coworkers has just gotten to be too much. I have literally given up because I cannot handle it anymore.
I know that I am a very strong individual, but the fact that my boss wants to ride me till I die and his actions to prove it yesterday is too much for me.
I had horrible thoughts and self harm came up. I have been vomiting from the stress again. PC spent 2 hours on the phone last night making me promise him not to do anything self harming.
I could never commit suicide–it is against ny religion and beliefs.
But the anxiety and tension are so out of control Ativan is doing nothing. Self harm seems like the only outlet.
I do not want to lose followers for that. This is not my proudest moment. It is my weakest moment.
Today I have been on the phone all day with my therapy team and doctor. We decided that it is best that I am pulled from work this weekend. It is best for my health.
I have to get through till Monday and then we go from there again.
I can seriously see how these teens kill themselves over bullying–it is horrible! Can’t hurt people back, lose energy, lose yourself.
I am a fighter so I die everytime I have to take it from my boss.
Thankfully I am not being admitted to psych so yes. Just PC obs on me with frequent calls from the team and our plan.
For that reason, I am pausing all my blogging and challenges–I want to be in the right frame of mind as well as everything is too much right now.
I am so sorry.
To be continued hopefully Monday.