Never Distrust Instinct

I had an instinctual feeling about a coworker. I blew it off–hoping for the positive. This has always been a problem of mine.

Well, clues have been piling up and it was confirmed today. My instincts were right.

I wish I should stop distrusting myself!!! Gah!

I mean I’ve always known the following to be true:

  • If someone says I hate drama repeatedly;
  • If someone says I don’t do drama repeatedly;
  • If someone says both repeatedly

They are, in fact, a major drama instigator. 

There is no reason someone has to state these things, or repeatedly, if they in fact do not do or tolerate drama. Because your actions should speak louder than words.

I first learned this from an ex boyfriend in high school. He kept accusing me of cheating on him. I could not figure out why. No matter what I said or did I could not convince him otherwise. A year later, I found out he had been cheating on me with two of my then best friends and another girl. We were together a whole two months. And he was my first kiss.

The moral of the story and life lesson: those guilty will always accuse others as well as have to reiterate the point of guilt as a denial deflector

They become convinced and paranoid that everyone else is doing it because they themselves do it.

Think about it. To all my eating disordered siblings: we are obsessed with food and paranoid that everyone else is as well and will notice us. It’s due to our guilt and obsession. Same concept, they are just in an eviler more shallow context.

And I stupidly fell for it because I can’t trust my own cues and instincts.

Trust issues.


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