With myself. With my doctor.
I have come to realize that I have been having an allergic reaction [and a severe one] to a topical medication prescribed for my painful parts post fall. This has included first migraine, flu like syndrome, photophobia [goes with the migraine], severe redness in one eye, severe eye pain in same eye, throat swelling, hoarseness, chest tightness, shortness of breath.
When I reported this to my doctor, as well as the fact that I had to hit my emergency drug –Benadryl– last night, they just brushed me off. I told them it scared me and I could t go to work because I was so drowsy from the Benadryl.
And yet they tell me they think it’s just a respiratory virus?
No. Whenever your patient tells you something is wrong, it is.
I know my arm is a hairline fracture on my humerus. I also fractured my ankle. But they keep brushing it off. So I just keep it to myself. Suffer alone.
I tell them I had severe adverse effects of a medication that states I need to report immediately and they say it’s nothing? I know my body. Too well. Fuck.
I’m already so angry with my body right now I want to self harm it. I’ve been nothing but hurt and sick for several months and I cannot deal anymore. I want to fight it back. It’s its own entity–me vs my body.
I’m physically exhausted. I’m relapsing into not eating bc I’m so tired.
I am asking for help. Me. Cassie. Asking for help.
Just to be basically told I’m being dramatic or a hypochondriac.
This is why I don’t ask for help. This is why I don’t seek medical attention. What good does it do?