Pissed Off

With myself. With my doctor.

I have come to realize that I have been having an allergic reaction [and a severe one] to a topical medication prescribed for my painful parts post fall. This has included first migraine, flu like syndrome, photophobia [goes with the migraine], severe redness in one eye, severe eye pain in same eye, throat swelling, hoarseness, chest tightness, shortness of breath.

When I reported this to my doctor, as well as the fact that I had to hit my emergency drug –Benadryl– last night, they just brushed me off. I told them it scared me and I could t go to work because I was so drowsy from the Benadryl. 

And yet they tell me they think it’s just a respiratory virus?

No. Whenever your patient tells you something is wrong, it is.

I know my arm is a hairline fracture on my humerus. I also fractured my ankle. But they keep brushing it off. So I just keep it to myself. Suffer alone.

I tell them I had severe adverse effects of a medication that states I need to report immediately and they say it’s nothing? I know my body. Too well. Fuck. 

I’m already so angry with my body right now I want to self harm it. I’ve been nothing but hurt and sick for several months and I cannot deal anymore. I want to fight it back. It’s its own entity–me vs my body. 

I’m physically exhausted. I’m relapsing into not eating bc I’m so tired. 

I am asking for help. Me. Cassie. Asking for help.

Just to be basically told I’m being dramatic or a hypochondriac. 

This is why I don’t ask for help. This is why I don’t seek medical attention. What good does it do?

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6 thoughts on “Pissed Off

  1. Oh no 😦 have you ever had a reaction like this before? Sounds horrible! Can you go to a pharmacy to ask for something for it? (I don’t know how it works in the states!) really hope you’re feeling better soon xx

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m so so sorry you’re suffering this way. I’ve had some serious problems with doctors in my past as well. I think people with allergies and other auto immune problems so often get grouped in that “hypochondriac” label- it’s really infuriating. I’ve had a couple friends who never got believed at doctor’s offices only to be told later they had lyme disease! So you’re not alone- and don’t doubt yourself!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I’m sorry! Hope you feel better soon. I often have the same problem with having issues, paying tons of money to get tested and then dr tells me nothing is wrong! So then I just put up with the symptoms until it goes away… But certain things can’t be ignored!

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