Two Days.

Two days until the intake interview for the potential newest therapist.

Part of me is so desperate I want it to work.

But then I think back to how the social worker and I just did not mesh or gel and I think it exacerbated everything. She is sweet and kind, but anorexia and anxiety are so fragile that the wrong help is just like handing an already cracked glass item to a toddler.

So now I wait.

Longest two days of my life here we come.

The thought of just having a support system is anxiety provoking in a relief sense; like I just want it to start someone can validate me. Yet I’m so scared of the rejection. The “this isn’t a good fit” or “I can’t give you what you need” when you desperately need it.

Just someone to believe in me.

Two days is a long time to wait to find out if you have someone on your team or not. Especially when you already suffer from anxiety disorders.

Alright, Ativan, you’re up!

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