Still Breathing!!

Ladies and gentlemen I am still alive!! And better yet, am so from my own bed–not a hospital one!!

This virus I got has wiped me out. It has confirmed my lungs are not as perfect as I thought they once were. It makes me feel weak and pathetic–things I do not do well.

But while I’ve been struggling to breathe, I am still breathing!!

I have avoided hospitalization [major phobia]!!

I am on tons of fluids, several inhalers, peak flow monitoring, and bed rest. For over a week.

Mentally I am sooo done! Physically I can’t do anything.

I have watched tv and movies. I have finished two books and bounced between 5 others [sooo bored]. I have organized, mentally, my room so when I have energy I can attack it. I have spent hours on Pinterest. I have also spent hours just lying in bed because of sheer exhaustion.

I’m physically exhausted walking the corner to the bathroom. Talking a full sentence is interrupted so I can breathe. I sound like I ran a marathon with how I pant. PC and I mainly communicate by text right now. My parents have learned my current forms of sign language because grunting is a lot. When PC wants to even hear my grunts he still calls and just basically chats my ear off.

Thankfulky, I have seen improvement! We upped one of my steroids [helloooo Ahnold lungs] and I was able to talk today and walk some with minor dizziness. Yay improvement! Nice to know I’m not dying!!

I know this ish is really serious and I should be scared… But I have to be the calm one because no one else is. And panic will not help with breathing issues!!

Anyways, I guess I pushed myself too hard today because I ended up napping for 5hours. Hard. Like 8 missed texts and 2 missed calls. And I sleep texted someone. No recollection.

While my oxygen checks out fine, I’m retaining a lot of carbon dioxide. I still think I’m lacking the O2. And my breathing hurts–supraclavicular breathing in a stomach deep breather = extremely shallow/rapid and sore.

But I’m getting slightly better!!

And I am not in the hospital!!

Cause if I was I’d probably end up in the eating disorder unit. Thanks but no thanks. I’m using avoidance to not have a major breakdown right now as it is!

Still breathing.

Focus on the breathing.

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3 thoughts on “Still Breathing!!

    • Thank you!! I kept thinking of you! It’s like how is it we that we aren’t more of hypochondriacs with everything we see?! My problem is I have seen so much worse I’m like welll ya I’m not breathing but I’m not coughing up blood so it’s not TB and that’s like worst case scenario hahahaha

      Liked by 1 person

      • I think it’s good you’re not freaking out! 🙂 And hello – I can be a huge hypochondriac haha.. remember when I thought I might have HIV?! I need to be more calm about my health, like you!

        That being said, it all sounds really crappy and I hope you feel better soon!

        Liked by 1 person

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