We are on a roll so let’s just keep on going.
After months of fighting for medical attention over my severe shoulder pain from my shower fall I am just getting care for it.
After multiple attempts at physical therapy appointments and being cancelled for bogus reasons in advance… Like a month in advance [1st time they didn’t bother to tell me they cancelled me] I had to patient advocate for myself and just got in at another outside PT clinic.
I just had the appointment this week.
And it turns out I was right while everyone blew me off. No big deal or anything, my shoulder pain? Oh it is just a rotator cuff injury that I did serious damage to and what’s that? Oh turns out that issue I complained about with numbness and tingling FOR YEARS and exacerbated with this injury? Just first rib issues–potentially Thoracic Outlet Syndrome.
Just nothing to worry about.
Just microtears in my ligaments and tendons at its best in my shoulder. That with potentially minimum of 6 [who are we kidding it’s going to be renewed] weeks of PT, could resolve the issue. Best case.
Worst case we are talking just surgery that I know has a small resolution rate.
There is a range of 20-40 degrees difference between sides in different positions. Seriously significant.
I am flexible so my impaired is yalls “normal” I get it but it still hurts. And looks bizarre compared to my other side.
Still have to assess my ankle.
What does this all mean to the fat anorexic?
- I cannot run
- I cannot rollerblade
- I cannot lift anything
- I cannot exercise at all
- My stretches are limited to barely pushing to pain in that shoulder–further will destroy it.
- I cannot wear backpacks. Or purses on that shoulder.
- I have to watch my posture all the time.
- I am fucking broken.
- I cannot do any exercise for a minimum of 6 weeks but looks like 12.
- I feel really really fat, overwhelmed, and like G-d hates me.
- I have a 5k I wanted to do and I have to slow walk it because no arm pumping.
- I cannot sleep on that one side.
- My mother thinks it’s all bullshit. Attention seeking crock.
I not only hate my body, I just hate my life.