Not of Sound Mind

I’m slipping in my mind.

I feel myself just losing it.

I hate the word crazy.

I am not stable.

I had a panic attack today for a reason I cannot disclose just yet.

I’m trying to combat my anxiety by living in the moment. And yet it feels like it is also creating more anxiety because I feel ill prepared as I am behind schedule.

This just makes me question reality even more.

Having a hard time with deciphering between the two again.

I hate  when this happens!!

Derealization is one of the worst feelings.

I already have trust issues.

Can’t trust myself. Can’t trust society. Who do I trust? What do I trust?

I know that I am not of sound mind. I just wish there was no stigma and that I could easily take the time I needed to heal. Without hassle.

I see you have the flu/stroke/seizure disorder/broken bones–please relax and get well soon!

No, Cassie, you’re just lazy and making things up. You’re fine. Get back to work and life.

I’m just fighting a losing battle in my head every second of the day. It tires me. It would have killed you years ago. But you can’t see it so it obviously doesn’t exist.

I’m tired of having non visible injuries: fat anorexic, rotator cuff injury, first rib thoracic outlet syndrome, microtears in my ligaments, tears in ligaments, anxiety, PTSD, OCD, …

It all rubs it in that I am not of sound mind.

Well, I am of the Sound of Ed’s Voice.

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