Society Strikes Again

It’s been a long and crappy week.

In addition to the birthday drama [see previous post if you want to even trek that], I have been enjoying panic attacks daily.

Earlier this week, I was enjoying multiple full blown panic attacks a day. But I can’t use my emergency drug because it would relax me and unleash the sadness of my birthday that is pent up. Fun, right?

So what has me bouncing and generating new stomach ulcers?

Jury duty.

I harness strong feelings on it that I just won’t even publish. But what should be known is I feel like if you are diagnosed with any form of panic disorder, you should automatically be dismissed.

I’ve been vomitting from this!! It’s horrible!!

These games and lack of control! I can’t even control my life as is and they do this?!

It’s always: call back between 11 and 12 noon. Then I vomit and have tunnel vision panic attacks. Then they tell me to call back after 5pm. Where I just panic and call. To be told to call the next day between 11 and 12 noon….

You have 1 hour to report. It’s impractical. And while on telephone standby, you’re not excused from work. ?!?!?!? Just anxiety provoking!!! <—ulcers

Add to this my boss who had her own page if attack because she’s pressured me that I can’t get jury duty or be activated. Xx like I chose this!!! Let’s add stress!! <—ulcers

Tears. Ulcers. Stress. Vomit. Headaches. Panic attacks.

I’m barely functional at work. Coming down off a panic attack takes several hours. I’m so sleepy. I usually sleep right after panic attacks.

Also having some health crap. Getting fatter and fatter. Gone up a size. <—panic+hair loss

Shoulder is killing me. Something’s wrong more so than usual.

I just want to be at the gym for 3hours/day. I also want to get daily massages. And sleep a lot. And not hurt.

Stupid.

Society, you torture me enough!!! PICK ON SOMEONE ELSE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE!

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