Believe what you want. But this is my thought.
I believe we have deeper connections with some people. Like we can sense when something is wrong or off with that person; sense their distress.
I have it with a few people. Maybe because I chose to foster those connections and relationships–who knows!
That is just the background for my freaky intuition that I didn’t realize I was having.
The past few months I have had horrendous bloating, spotting, weight gain, and specific weight gain in my stomach.
With that has come severe irrational thoughts of me being pregnant. Never ending ruminations.
It’s not possible right now–if I was I’d be dead.
But the fat and weight gain just hike up the paranoia.
I received a call from one of my bests tonight: “I have big news” “You’re pregnant!!”
Not a beat was dropped. I surprised even myself for knowing that! Yet somehow I knew.
Ya how the fuck I would know that is a miracle! They weren’t even trying yet. The last discussion was a joke about how she gets a year till they start trying. She had wanted more time.
Alas, here we are.
Excited. Nervous. Praying for a girl 💎💅🏻🍼🎀
But maybe my body was sympathizing and in tune with her–fake pregnancy and all. Get fat to support.
Yay for her!! Fuck my body!
It can stop now.