What Did I Do?!

Wtf did I do wrong do deserve so much unjust in my life? In such short periods of time?

I still don’t have my therapist because insurance companies are a fucking scamming joke. I’m barely hanging on.

I hate how at my job everyone gets away with murder and takes time off allll the time. I’ve been sick. Again. I should have had a week off but took 2 days. Bad idea. Still got shit for it.

And I just got slapped with a big ass bullshit fuck you by the state of California.

So I just lay curled in bed crying, praying to just have life end, while PC held me.

And all I kept thinking is “I can’t handle the world right now I’m so fucking done I can’t even”.

So I need a day off to deal with something and I text my boss and my response is that I’ve already taken too much time off.

For me to literally survive right now I need the rest of the week off. And I’ve had a total of 3 sick calls out. But everyone else in the department calls out sick at least once a week and no that is not an exaggeration. Plus their use of their nonexistent PTO while I have several hundred unused hours. Or the fact that they leave to go home early everyday.

I can’t tucking live in a world anymore where people have no respect for others [oh ya some one straight up used my parking spot and left all their meal trash], accountability, or responsibility.

It is a beyond unfair world. Beyond unjust.

I mean I’m the morbidly obese anorexic. How much more unfair do I deserve and wtf did I do?!

11 thoughts on “What Did I Do?!

  1. Sounds like everything is such a struggle right now and it’s really sucky you can’t see a therapist. If you’re in California, look up Kati Morton LMFT (she has a mental health YouTube, and also a private practice) she
    Might be able to give you names of some good therapists or advise you on the insurance scenario xx

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m sorry Love, this sounds like a really tough patch 😦 It sucks when good people get punished because others suck, right?! You can get through this, I believe in you!

    Liked by 1 person

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