The Call Came

I am being transitioned to another doctor.

Ironically, while my therapist filled my spot and cut her hours, she basically needs closure with our relationship.

…..

The fuck?!?!

I needed her. She wasn’t there for me.

I AM THE ONE WITH ABANDONMENT ISSUES!!

I wanted to die.

She left me there.

For months.

Then she turfs me to someone else.

Yea must be hard for her.

Well the sick bitch in me is like –ya I’m SO anorexic I’ve broken two  therapists now!!

Yet I’m still getting fatter.

And earlier this week when I saw my psychiatrist I had to briefly relieve all my trauma of the past few months with no ability for treatment–just a tell her why I was so stressed and wanted to die thing. She had no clue. My therapist didn’t tell her shit.

Good communication team!!

So I’ve gained weight. Because I’m not eating.

I had to talk about that.

I resume treatment immediately because the insurance bullshit is dealt with.

I’ve been deemed acute/critical.

Because I am barely eating. Self harming. OCD high. Anxiety high. And treatment was abruptly cut three months ago when I was at a critical stage.

But the debate is on if I should be just outpatient.

Ha. We will see.

Goodbye old therapist later this week.

Just like waiting for your crush to call after a date, that long awaited call came.

And thankfully I’m still alive to take it. Ed didn’t kill me yet.

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5 thoughts on “The Call Came

  1. I’m so glad that you were able to speak with the psychiatrist and explain everything. It must be a relief for somebody to get all the information and act on it. What did she/he say about the weight gain? It’s so brave to bring that topic up. When I was bulimic and gaining weight, I avoided seeing anyone for 8 months because I couldn’t handle it, so I’m so proud of you for just saying it how it is.
    What kind of help are you going to be getting? Xo

    Liked by 1 person

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