I have been so stressed out!!
I had a major recertification that is beyond complicated to achieve.
I received the materials to prep around the time I had the stomach flu. That’s the amount of time needed to prep–a month. But I couldn’t because, well, I was extremely sick. Shit I still have gastritis! Add to that this never ending work stress!
I received a lot of hassle and grief for taking the two days off for the recertification course! Um…. Hello yall do stuff for your licenses so yall know! It’s a convenience to them when I am and am not a nurse. Cassie don’t play those games…..
Well needless to say I thought, knew, I was going to fail due to my lack of prep time. Coming home exhausted after work didn’t help.
Thanks to a miracle, I passed! Better yet, I passed the written on the first time! [First time I took it I failed the written and had to retake the written portion–only passed my skills practicum].
I was shocked! I was ecstatic! Not that I am not smart and capable, but everything was stacked against me!
I was high this weekend….sailing. A huge weight was off my shoulders. Confidence renewed.
Went into work like, “I can tolerate this because I am worthy even if they don’t recognize or appreciate me.”
And then the email came.
Our institution is terminating people. Out of the blue. No one knows who or why. Well why is “budget” but you don’t know if your job is safe. They are eliminating positions. More like the rationale of the positions cut.
I’m scared and anxious.
No one knows and tomorrow is D-day. It is a week long thing.
Will I ever get to live outside of crisis mode?!?! I mean this is not for lack of trying!!
Fuck you life. Just. Fuck. You!!!!!!!!