Driving home today I had a moment of complete derealization.
I was thinking about how I was driving home, to my place, where I live with my boyfriend, and it was no thang. It was normal. And then I slipped out of body.
That’s not me. Who would think I was capable of actually sustaining a relationship and not ruining it? To go home to a shared bed. So foreign. Sleep in a bed that I share with someone. This should freak me out but it was not. To a home that was not my old home. A nest that I nested. A new safe. A real safe.
I have a safe place now? That’s possible?
I felt like I was splitting in half and it lasted for about 10 minutes.
What worries me is why it’s happening.
It’s happened before: when I was not medicated, from/during severe trauma, trigger [that is obvious], etc. This was random.
I think my subconscious is slipping through my avoidance…