Be young again.
Where it’s OK to drink by yourself and get to that happy place.
Or maybe it’s be at that point in the eating disorder where you’re forgiven for using alcohol to cope: to lower inhibitions to eat but also to feel again. Because anorexia makes you numb.
Finish everything I’ve started because then I havent judged myself out of it.
Be allowed to be sexually carefree again. Because single and anorexic is an excuse to go buck wild.
Be able to drunk text people and have people who appreciated it. Because people don’t appreciate shit anymore anyways.
Not be self conscious.
To not hate myself and my body and how fat I am.
Have people realize I used to be fucking hot and have a rocking bod….even if I thought I was fat then.
Get what I want because my body.
Live in this free and happy state that being tipsy//drunk has. That feeling.
Not be me.