Here is the list of players, my cast of thousands, my support team. These are the people who are involved in my life and might pop up in a post. Please note that not all that are listed are positive support people, unfortunately.
Cherry– my therapist. Specializes in eating disorders as well as anxiety disorders. She is a counselor. My psychologist. She knows me the best. She is the original team member.
Dolly and Kiki– my psychiatrist. She mainly prescribes my medications. We have a rough relationship. ***Update*** I now have a new one because the other one went to inpatient. We are also sticky.
Badgyr– my best friend since high school. Sadly, she is located on the East Coast, but her presence is still felt. She is my person.
Cindy– my best friend since 6th grade. Instrumental in the recovery as she is local and physically present. She also does not tolerate my games. She is also my person. ***Update*** things are now rocky as she has basically ditched me and I seem to be a convenience friend to her. She recently had a baby, but she spends almost all her time with her immediate family leaving me out to dry.
Erin– my best friend since college. She has been supportive in my recovery and making sure to understand the boundaries so she can support me without pushing me too far. Erin is named after Erin Gruwell, the teacher in Freedom Writers. I love this girl and she aspires to be like Erin; not realizing that she already is.
Celeste– my best friend from work. We met at work and it was instant chemistry; we feed off of each other. We have grown very close over the past few years and I love this lady to death! We are true soul mates–so much alike. We entertain each other so much that sometimes people want to separate us because of sheer jealousy that we can be genuinely happy with each other. She is also my person. ***Update*** she has left our job…again. I miss her presence.
Daren– my close friend from work. He and I have been working together for multiple years. He has been a great source during my recovery. He was one of the first people I told and has been so strong in supporting me without judgement ever since. He always makes me laugh and validates me. His catch phrase to me is “stop it!” after a youtube video of what therapists wish they could do. He is also known as my work boyfriend–he has a girlfriend but we are inseparable. Nothing romantic will ever come from us.
Nice– my primary care physician. The first doctor who I have ever trusted and listened to.
Gee– my gynecologist. I know, random, but she helped with the initial diagnosis.
Millie– sister; non-biological. Mean, cruel, selfish beyond a doubt; all to the root evil. All will be demonstrated from accounts of our interactions. Millie is short for Maleficent.
Andie– sister, younger. Genetically has the same hips, thighs, and cellulite as me. Yet she is still thinner and not as curvy as me–even in my underweight days she looks thinner. Pretty sure she struggles with mental and behavioral health issues. I vote Borderline Personality. That and we have a huge genetic presence of Bipolar Disorder. Like Millie, and probably learned from her, loves to put others down [specifically me] to feel better about self.
Effy– my cousin. She has been instrumental in my recovery as she, herself, has some mental health issues she is dealing and coping with. She is understanding and relates to my experiences. Currently, she is more concerned with herself.
Ro– my brother. Was my best friend since 5th grade but broke the cardinal rule and chose a girl first. All to come out in due time. Ro is short for Pharoah meaning “that spoils;” he spoils his undeserving girlfriends rotten and neglects his family to do such. He is also very stubborn and can never be wrong. All true characteristics of the Pharoah in Passover. He has been removed from my life as he is not worthy of presence in it.
Chenille– a coworker whom I have greatly bonded with. She has been comic relief and fresh air for me. She has also been a gym buddy at times. She is a close friend. She also helped me without realizing what she was helping me with. Chenille helped me with an EKG one night and saw the same arrhythmia that I did–encouraging me to seek higher of level of care. This kept me motivated in staying on the therapy track and seeing that starving myself was doing damage.
Jamie– a coworker whom has been some of the biggest support in my journey into further educational pursuits and personal growth. She is an amazing support person, never judgmental, and always has my best in mind. She is also an amazing patient advocate and aspire to be as good as her someday. Jamie is short for Jamison. Yes, the Irish drink because she is my Irish lady. ***Update*** Jamie left our job. I am so happy for her but also jealous that she was able to leave. I miss her so much! She made the job. Lexi– another coworker. He is a strong support person for me. He recently learned about my struggles although he had been suspecting something for awhile. Lexi is amazing because he is someone I can have true deep philosophical conversations with. He challenges and stimulates my thought processes in an expanding sort of way. Why he is so awesome is that our conversations are never judgmental but truly trying to better understand all others out there and find deeper meaning in life. A rare find. I will not really see him around much more.
Athena– my group leader and additional support person. Her emphasis is on eating disorders so that is extra support and now in a group setting. Athena is for the Greek goddess–war goddess. She is a Warrior Princess and attributing this name to her is appropriate considering that she is quite the eating disorder recovery fighter–warrior. ***Update*** I completed group in May 2015. I do not foresee myself going back to group as I met my commitment.
Pati– newest addition to my care team. She makes number 4. She is my individual DBT therapist. She is specialized in eating disorders, which is helpful. She also does the phone calls which is a new concept to me and something I am trying to get used to. I call her Pati for Phone A Therapist InCrisis. Pati was just cuter.
Prince Charming [P.C.]– my boyfriend. We have been together since December 2014. For whatever reason, I want to fight my urges to sabotage our relationship and make it work with him; he is worth it. Kind, compassionate, caring, considerate, romantic, nonjudgmental, supportive, and gentle in the ways I have come to realize I need.
This list will continue to grow as more people arise in the story that is my life.
updated June 2015