Ok let me start off with I’ve been channeling my OCD behaviors into Bullet Journal ing. I love it and it’s helpful for me. It’s cathartic. It gets crap out of my head. It shuts out Ed and Edie’s voices for a bit.
Naturally, I’m on Pinterest looking for things to “bujo” as us lazy I mean cool kids say.
I stumbled on these. They are so going in. An excellent reminder [for me minus the prayer part but insert mindfulness].
I’m guilty of a lot of these. Helps me identify. Are you?
“There’s a Korean word my grandma taught me. It’s called jung. It’s the connection between two people that can’t be severed, even when love turns to hate. You still have those old feelings for them; you can’t ever completely shake them loose of you; you will always have tenderness in your heart for them.”- Jenny Han, P.S. I Still Love You
How much I relate to this. This quote stopped me short when I heard it [doing the whole audiobook thing right now].
It takes a lot for me to hate someone. I hate so very few. Part of the whole PLURR lifestyle I live.
People who have hurt me and I hate I still think of. You know you’re fucked when you’re literally dead to me; when I feel nothing. This must be why.
Another beautiful moment. I cried with Pennsatucky because in my therapy this moment and first quote has really been emphasized.
Is it DBT? CBT? Who knows because it’s very real and amazing life advice.
If you can, I recommend googling for this clip because words cannot capture the raw emotion that was captured so well by the actresses. Truly depicts my turmoil.
Sidebar [and spoiler if you haven’t seen past Season 2], Pennsatucky was raped and this is a moment where she reflects on that pain, suffering, and forgiveness.
Pennsatucky: Do you know the difference between pain and suffering?
Big Boo: Oh I can’t wait to hear this…
Pennsatucky: Ya well you should hear because pain is something that … Pain is always there because Life is freakin painful ok? But suffering is a choice.
And you my friend, it’s not my right to say, but you’re suffering!
Forgiveness. You need to move on Boo.
I forgave him for me. And I think you are capable of doing something like that.
I am excited to share that I have found a bunch of awesome list challenges that I will begin! Of course my impulse is to do them all and do them all right now.
But I will pace them out. I found some fun ones [movies, music, etc.] as well as self discovery ones.
As usual, I invite any and every person to participate to the degree of comfort that helps them grow as a person. :]
I am saddened that up until about two months ago my feed was filled with new posts frequently and right now it is dead. I’m not sure where everyone went.
I will try and inspire because I am fighting here and I am hoping this will motivate me to stay on track! I have strong compulsions to complete what I start so this will get my butt to blog but then hopefully blog it out and be honest about all my struggles.
I really need to stop shutting down.